I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
MIDGETS
????
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
And then he peed in my hair
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