Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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