I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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