i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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