I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
