Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
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