I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
