the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
