Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
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