You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
