Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
