NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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