two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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