and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
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