Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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