New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
