Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
