God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
