Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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