If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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