did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize