Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
What a dumb baby whore.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
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