so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
