This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
