I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
