oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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