Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I'm really busy with my period
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