dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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