just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Randomize
