She's JV to your varsity
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
