i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
COCAINE IS GR8
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