she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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