I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i came on her dog
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Randomize
