she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
my poor anus
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
