I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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