her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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