That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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