Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
