oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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