What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
