she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
