1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
