areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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