last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
