Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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