she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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