My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
It's shark week go big or go home
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
