You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
