it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Randomize
