Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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