She's JV to your varsity
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
