I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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