very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
