Princesses don't give blow jobs
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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