my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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