so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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