Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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