ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
