I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
