i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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