I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
