There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
