I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
did i walk over a car last night?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
