I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Randomize