So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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