Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
