would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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