I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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