My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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